You Know You May Be Intoxicated If...(Alexis's Birthday Edition)

So we all may be getting a little old, but we still apparently know how to have a grand ol' time!  Friday night, was no exception.  So in typically blogging fashion, you know you may be intoxicated if:
-You remember being at a bar, but were not with anyone you came with
-You lose things, such as cameras
-You sing Wilson Philips at the top of your lungs
-You clearly drank all of the vodka at the bar, judging from your tab
-You cant remember who signed the check or tipped the bartender
-You make it all the way home, but them hit the car in the driveway
-You take pictures with your ex-boyfriends friends, because you want the flash to blind him
-You ask someone to send you pictures of floating penises
-You think throwing pizza boxes out of windows is completely acceptable
-You may have burnt your pants on the fire outside the bar
-You wake up on the sun
-You leave your jewelery in a candle because you thought it was a bowl
-You buy random people standing next to you shots
-You drink all of the water in Totowa the next morning
-You drive all the way to Brooklyn to get bagels (or kneaded the dough for the bagel, it's still up in the air)

And you absolutely know you were intoxicated, when you are unable to function for a full 48hrs.  You are so hungover you cannot even man up to go out.  You can barely drive...actually, you can barely walk.

All in all these qualities only mean you had a pretty awesome night.  I hope you enjoyed your birthday Lex, clearly the rest of us did!

Christmas Music

Why is it Christmas music can only be played from Black Friday, til New Years Eve?  It's the happiest music on earth but gets denied it's joy because there are too many Scrooges in the world.  I do agree this should not be played year round, because then what would people look forward to.  However, I feel as if some sort of petition should be started so Christmas music is acceptable for a solid 60 days. This should start on October 25th.  I mean it's not like it's going to hurt anyone.  Plus who really cares about Thanksgiving.  If you ask my opinion, it's a holiday for oafs.  You sit around and stuff your face until you can't even move....this is exactly what an oaf does on a day to day basis.  Plus there are no fun songs to compliment this holiday. 

I bet when most of you hear Mariah (AKA the GOD of Christmas music), you get excited and completely stop in your tracks.  Or what about a little Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays...who wasn't an Nsync fan in the nineties?!?!?! 

Maybe it's just me and I'm more joyful than all of you.  I personally love rockin around the Christmas tree, to jingle bell rock!!

The Difference in Being 22 and 28....

For the past 4 years, I have been the ripe age of 23.  It's the best age anyone can be, until you're actually not it anymore.  You realize that you're going to bed before 9, you have one drink and are wasted, and can't even imagine going out on a week night; you realize, "Oh My God!  I'm in my late 20's"!!  This is a tough thing to realize.  To help all of America with this realization I'm outlined some tips to help you spot that you are not longer in your early 20's:
-You wear a coat to the bar, while all the youngens run jacket-less in the freezing cold.
-You need more than a few hours to recover from a hangover (like a good 2 days)
-You can't puke and rally
-You wear clothes to the bar when you use to go out in bascially nothing
-You've gained a few extra pounds (Not that many just like 5)
-You can't make out with someone random on the dance floor
-You have a real job (that you have to go to not hungover)
-You cannot go out all night, not sleep and go to work
-Once you are drunk, you can't stay up and chat all night, you pass out (well before the sun rises)
-You wear a cover up on the beach, instead of just walking around in your bikini
-You go out at 9 when you use to not even get ready until 11
-You have a savings account
-The shows that come on passed 10pm, need to be DVR'ed because you can't keep your eyes open that long
-You don't mix vodka with water thinking it will keep you hydrated!!  (you have learned your lesson)
-You're happy wearing flats and not 6 inchers
-Your Halloween costume consists of more than booty shorts and pasties
-21yr olds annoy you
-People think you're old

I had to learn this the hard way.  It's not easy realizing your nearing death any day now, but I guess we all have to grow up sometime.  I hope I have helped those of you reading this....it's ok to get older, just never turn 30!