The True Meaning Of Oaf

Oaf.  It is a word in the English vocabulary that gets thrown around in many different situations.  The true definition of oaf is a stupid, large clumsy person, that acts oafishly.  I've come across many oafs in my short span of life and have been able to conspire a list of ways to spot an oaf.  They have tendencies, and are pretty predictable. They are located everywhere!  They can be the person serving you your plate of dinner, or counting your change at the bank.  Do not get sucked it to this breed.  Here are some warning signs that you may be an oaf (or even associate with oaf-a-licious people):

• one who can eat a rice krispy treat in one bite (but really needs the Costco size bars to satisfy any hunger)
• Mudd Jeans (Oafs were these as if they are some sort of brand and think they look good)
• Sweaty (not like hungover meat Schweatty, but like dripping down face sweat just from standing up)
• able to consume a plate of nachos in under a minute (this is without being part of any competitive eating)
• visiting Sonic as part of your daily ritual.  This seems to be the homeland for oafs.  I'm not sure what they give out there, but it must be something that keeps these lazy, buffoons going there.
• are keeping all lines at all fast food places long
• wear dirty white flip flops
• consume at least 2 cin-a-buns a week
• talk in an oafish voice that is not enjoyable to anyone
• constantly post pictures of your meals on facebook
• are a "daily" at the beach
• can be spotted at any local walmart
• drink Mr. Pibb
• talk in baby voices with fellow oafs
• think "grande" is the largest size at Starbucks
• eats mayo with a spoon
• works at Chick-Fila
• drives a stupid car, like a mini-cooper or smart car (only an oaf would purchase that)
• carries a fake bag and states it is real (cleary your bag says COUCH not COACH you dumb oaf)

The list can continue for days regarding these breed of human.  Beware!  You do not want to get sucked in and be an associate of this kind.  People may start considering you an oaf, which is one of the worst things that one can be called in the English langage.

This breed cannot be helped.  An oaf can never be changed into a normal human.  If you attempt this, the oaf can suck you into their oaf world.  Please be careful out there.  The world has enough of them.  Let them be.  I mean, c'mon, we need someone serving us our greasy food on hungover days!!